REAL conversations create results—not just any old results, but the results we actually want. These desirable results are always mutually beneficial to the participants in the conversation. When we hold REAL conversations, we achieve the desired results while at the same time increasing the rapport, respect, trust, and learning of everyone involved. The type of communication that creates REAL conversation is called dialogue.
The word dialogue comes from the Greek terms dia (meaning “through”) and logos (signifying “the meaning of the word”). Dialogue, then, is conversation where individuals come to understanding “through the meaning of the word.” The implication here is that everyone learns from the sharing of perspectives, ideas, and experiences. The meaning in the conversation is respectfully and authentically shared by everyone—not necessarily agreed upon, but shared and understood nonetheless.
Creating a REAL conversation requires four distinct skills or behaviors: Recognizing & Suspending, Expressing, Asking, and Listening & Attending. Using all of these behaviors in conversation creates the results we desire. Let’s take a moment to further define and explore each of these behaviors.
The Dialogue Model
