Everyone is challenged at some time or another during the holiday season with spending time with family members or friends who seemingly lack any sense of decorum or civility. That’s why you really only see them once a year or try to avoid them whenever possible the rest of the year. There are a number of typical scenarios that may occur. In each situation there is a principle that when applied will help you to improve your ability to manage a potentially frustrating situation.
As I have traveled around the country speaking, I have frequently been asked, “Can you give us some examples of ‘fake talk’? We’re not sure exactly what that means.” You’ll remember that fake talk is any conversation that doesn’t achieve the results that you want.
Earlier in the year, I identified 14 fake talk tactics (Part 1; Part 2) that people often employ that don’t improve the quality of our conversations. These were helpful in identifying a fake talker. Because some of you have repeatedly asked me for other examples, I have identified another set of behaviors that keep us from talking about what matters most.
Nothing can be more frustrating than trying to talk to someone who engages in some form of fake talk. Because there are so many opportunities to talk about what matters most both at home and at work, learning to recognize the communication strategies that don’t yield the desired results is critical to improving the quality of your conversations.
The holiday season usually offers many opportunities to practice your best conversation skills. Family members who usually don’t see each other, come together, which may present challenges because of the way that they act during these family gatherings. Some individuals seem to go blatantly out of their way to make others uncomfortable. Still others lack any sense of social decorum or awareness of how their behavior negatively impacts others. Unfortunately, we usually choose not to say anything to the offending party because they are family. Instead of saying something and causing potential conflicts, people often sit quietly and say nothing....
Of course no one sets out to intentionally offend or cause friction when they speak or communicate with large groups of people; and yet, everyone has a unique style of communication--which can differ dramatically from group to group. Because of our inherent style differences, there is a chance that we might unintentionally offend someone or create unnecessary conflict.
When speaking to large groups of people, it is important to recognize the interaction or communication style of others and then mirror or “match” that style when communicating with them. Your interaction will be more effective, you will increase engagement and create rapport, and you will be more likely to achieve desired results.
The challenge for any professional is...
All of us at one time or another have had the opportunity to work with or for someone that we would label as a jerk, idiot, or moron. And we have all probably been a jerk at some point to those with whom we associate.
Do you know people that display the characteristics listed below? Are you guilty of any of these behaviors yourself? If so, what do you think is the payoff for behaving in such a manner? After all, we behave the way we do if we perceive that there is something we can get for doing so. I...