When I conducted research for my book, Overcoming Fake Talk, I was interested to discover why so many people were afraid to talk about certain topics -- what I call undiscussables. Undiscussables include anything that we think and feel but choose not to share. In short, undiscussables are something we keep to ourselves.
Whether you are a new leader or manager who is starting a new business, your mindset and those of your people are integral to the success of your endeavors. Why? Because your mindset influences your people’s performance.
I recently had the opportunity to attend a team meeting where the manager was giving feedback to his team of 30 millennials who worked for him in a local catering business. I remember some of my supervisors in the past saying the same type of things to me.
I was recently visiting with a potential client, and at the close of our conversation, I asked her if there was something I could do to help her. She indicated that there were so many new leaders entering their organization that she wished she had a list of principles or concepts that she could give to them that would help them assimilate and become effective as quickly as possible.
Because changing leadership often brings challenges, I would suggest 10 best practices to strengthen your leadership capacity and improve the quality and speed of your results.
Years ago when I worked as an attorney, I remember someone telling me that it was easy to spot when someone was lying. All you had to do was notice whether they would look at you or not. I remember laughing to myself and thinking that if the liars knew that, all they would have to do is to give direct, sustained eye contact to counter that notion. I came away thinking that this suggestion was not very helpful.
Last week our family had the opportunity to run the Salmon River in Idaho for a family vacation. My oldest son has been running the river as a guide this summer; consequently, we were invited to go on a trip with him. I was excited at the prospect of this adventure given that I had been a white water guide myself in the Grand Canyon over 25 years ago. Previously, I have had to put sharing river rafting with my family on hold until my children were older, but now everyone has grown enough that we could go together.
Q: My manager is so negative and defensive that I am afraid if I shared, “I did what you asked me to do,” I would create more defensiveness that would result in increased conflict. What can I do to reduce this person’s negative energy and create a viable solution that will improve results?
A: Unfortunately, many individuals are often negative or always seem to be defensive; every situation is always the “worst” it can possibly be. We all know people...
Recently, I was asked to observe a Home Owners Association board meeting and to provide feedback about what the board members could do to have more effective meetings. From the outset, it was obvious that the entire group of individuals had never received any type of business communication training. More than anything, I was shocked
Did you know that one of the biggest reasons people are unhappy in any given situation is their unmet expectations? How do our expectations contribute to our emotional responses? Our expectations are based on our values—what is most important to us.
Recently my college-age son hit a large piece of asphalt while driving our 1997 Toyota Avalon down a country road at night. The impact against the undercarriage caused the airbags to deploy and shatter the car’s windshield. Thankfully, except for a concussion, my son was not seriously hurt. Days later, when talking with him about the accident in person, my initial feelings of gratitude turned to worry about the cost of fixing the car, and disappointment and anger due to his lack of judgment.
On a recent flight, my seatmate and I began to talk about communication and conversation strategies for dealing with difficult people. Then out of the blue, my neighbor announced: “Boy, these millennials are hard to work with!”
During the last several months, we have heard a lot about “fake” news or “fake” media. The frequent use of these terms made me think of the term “fake focus” and how it can cause problems in our organizations. So what does the word “fake” refer to? “Fake” may be defined as something that is not real or it may mean to pretend, falsify, or fictionalize something. “Focus” is defined as a concentrated activity or influence that leads to a particular outcome. Consequently, one’s focus is a devotion or dedication to a particular effort with a specific outcome in mind.