Tips for Handling Challenging Conversations during the Holidays

Everyone is challenged at some time or another during the holiday season with spending time with family members or friends who seemingly lack any sense of decorum or civility. That’s why you really only see them once a year or try to avoid them whenever possible the rest of the year. There are a number of typical scenarios that may occur. In each situation there is a principle that when applied will help you to improve your ability to manage a potentially frustrating situation.

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8 Tips on Making a Difference in Your World

Last year I worked right up to the week before Christmas. I had just finished a week of training, and I was ready to fly back to Utah from Westchester, New York for the holidays. I arrived at the airport early in case any unforeseen mishaps should occur. Sitting in the gate area with numerous people, I realized just how exhausted I was and that I was totally unprepared for the holiday season. I closed my eyes and let my head roll back and waited.

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"Outside" vs. "Inside" the Conversation

Q: Sometimes difficult situations arise unexpectedly and there doesn’t seem to be time to think through how to use the DialogueWORKS framework. In other words, when I am “outside” the conversation I have time to prepare what I want to say and how I want to say it, but when I am “inside” the conversation, things seem to happen too quickly. How can I become more effective at holding a difficult or emotional conversation when I am “inside” the conversation?   A: What a great question! Taking the time to prepare for a difficult conversation vastly increases the likelihood that the outcome...

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7 Tips for Forgiving Others

During the Thanksgiving holiday, I had the opportunity to spend time with a number of family members. One of them was very frustrated by a situation that occurred where they were unduly wronged by another person. In short, they had every right to be angry and extremely disappointed with the way in which the situation unfolded. However, as the weekend wore on, this individual continued to tell the same story over and over and to complain about the same issue.

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10 Tips for Improving Your Gratitude

Recently, I was looking for an opportunity to write something about gratitude. Being stuck in an airport and waiting for a flight that had been cancelled gave me the opportunity to interview people and ask them what they were most grateful for. So, I wandered around the gate area, introduced myself, and told people that I wanted to write an article about the Thanksgiving holiday, and I asked if I could ask them one question: “What are you most grateful for?” Everyone stopped to think and then answered. It was a great way to pass the three hours.

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Do You Empower Your People? 10 Strategies for Empowering Others

When I was in my first job in corporate America, I had a one-of-a-kind manager. The first thing he did when meeting with me was to ask me what I wanted to become and what my vision of my future career looked like. I really hadn’t given it much thought, and so I candidly told him so. Always abounding in patience, he began by asking me a series of well-thought out questions that made me think.

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Will You Pay It Forward? Seven Tips for Making a Difference

This past week I was shocked to read about two passengers on a flight who evidently started a fight over their different political views. The pilot went on a rant over the plane’s intercom taking the fighting passengers to task to defuse the situation. With all the divisiveness that seems to be going on right now, each of us ought to put a particular emphasis during the upcoming holiday to go out of our way to make life more rewarding for one another.

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Managing Emotions in the Workplace

I recently had a team ask me if emotional displays were appropriate in the workplace. When I asked them what they meant, they shared with me that one member of their team would sometimes cry when discussing topics that were relevant to his or her work. I took the time to explore the situation with the person. I concluded that his or her behavior resulted because some team members didn’t see the issue in the same way or feel as passionately as they did about the situation that was being discussed. When we consider the appropriateness of emotional displays, the expression of emotion could be placed along a continuum from aggressive or “hot” to passive or “cold.” Obviously when someone begins to shout, demean, or use derogatory terms, the person who is confronted by such behavior will usually respond in two ways: they will respond in kind and meet “hot” emotion with “hot” emotion, or they will completely shut down.

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Are You Mentally Tough? 8 Tips to Improve Your Success

A number of years ago, one of my sons tried out for the junior high basketball team. Unfortunately, he did not make the team. He returned home being even more deflated because he was offered a position as the team manager, a position he turned down. Rather than sulk and engage in self-pity, he went to work. He devised a plan to improve his skills, so that he could make the team as a sophomore.

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How to Assess the Quality of your Relationships

Sometimes I just can’t pass up a good story. Here is one that my financial planner told me this week. It seems that he was out to lunch with one of his clients. While eating, his client was approached by a police officer who asked him to identify himself. The client gave his name, and then the officer passed him a set of papers. The client chuckled and said, “This is obviously a joke given that it is my 50th birthday tomorrow?” The officer replied, “No sir, I am an officer of the law,

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